The Recipe for Wheat Bread that You Didn't Know was Yours

I know I’ve been a little inconsistent with my blog posts recently. The closer we get to starting school again (we are homeschoolers around here), the more my spare moments are filled with curriculum ordering and lesson planning. But I am determined to keep the posts coming at least twice a week, and without trying to sound too pompous, I’m really proud of what I have to offer you today.

This past weekend we had some of our dear friends from Virginia here for a visit, and since they were new to the whole Lancaster County way of doing things, we welcomed them to our home with a dinner consisting of veggies from our garden, a big platter of fresh sweet corn (of course), and a loaf of homemade bread.

I think I forgot how good this bread recipe was. It’s been a couple of months since I've made it, and after I had my first bite of it on Friday night, I nearly slapped myself for not making this recipe on at least a bi-weekly basis. I’m telling ya, folks, this bread will rip the pants off any inferior loaf you would get at the grocery store. And it's so easy to make that I included it in my kid's cooking class this past year, and they were all six years old and younger and made it without a hitch.

And we all know how I am about my label reading. They just love sneakin’ all kinds of nasty stuff in bread these days, especially that dirty dog, high fructose corn syrup. I’ve seen a couple of the bigger name bakery brands eliminating it from their bread, but there are still loads of other ingredients that I can’t pronounce hiding away in there. If you’re lying awake at night, wishing there were a better way to feed your family food without all the chemicals and crap in it, or if you just like a slice of crazy-good bread, this recipe has your name written all over it. Take it; it’s yours.

[Fill in your name here]’s Crazy-Good Wheat Bread

1 ½ c. warm water
1 large egg, room temp.
2 tbsp. butter, room temp.
1/3 c. pure maple syrup (I don’t really want to get into this discussion again, but considering the risk of you completely ruining this recipe with Aunt Jemima, I’ll briefly reiterate my stand on this topic: use real maple syrup!!!)
2 c. unbleached all purpose flour
2 c. whole wheat flour
1 c. old fashioned oats
2 tsp. salt
1 pkg. quick-rising yeast

Now, I own a KitchenAid mixer and I have never made this recipe without one so if you don’t have a stand mixer, prepare yourself for a bit of an arm workout. In either case, you just need to put all the ingredients into your bowl in the order listed above. Then, if you have the stand mixer, simply attach your dough hook and turn on the machine.

If you don’t have a stand mixer, well, get stirrin’. What you eventually want to end up with is a moist, thick dough. You don’t want it too sticky to where your fingers get all coated with dough when you try to pull it away from the hook or spoon, but you also don’t want a big old stiff ball of dough either. If it’s too dry, add more water; too wet, add more white flour. I guess if I were going to err on one side or the other, I’d go for too wet than too dry.

Okay, moving on (sorry about all the technicalities there; it isn’t that complicated in real time; I’m sure you’ll do just fine). Simply put a damp towel or some plastic wrap over top of your bowl and let the dough rise in a warm place till it’s doubled in size, about an hour and a half.

Butter a 9x5 inch loaf pan and turn your risen dough out onto a lightly floured surface. Knead it for just a couple minutes to make sure it’s texture is nice and smooth, then form it into a loaf that will fit in your pan and flop it on in. Cover the dough with plastic wrap and let rise again, this time for about 45 minutes.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. At this point, your dough will be just over the rim of your loaf pan and ready to go. Bake for 30 minutes or until a nice and dark wheaty brown on top. Pull it out, let it rest for a couple of minutes, then loosen the edges and turn it out on a rack to cool completely.

Fresh butter from the dairy and homemade strawberry jam on top and you’re golden, my friend. Enjoy.

Salmonella vs. Raw Cookie Dough: My Own Personal Catch 22

I must admit, you folks have seriously upped your play with the zucchini suggestions. I’m super excited about some of these ideas, but I’ll maintain the suspense till Friday when I announce who dazzled me the most with their recipe. It’s certainly not too late to submit an idea if you didn’t get a chance to yesterday.


I don’t know about all of you out there but I love batter. I mean any batter: cookie, brownie, muffin, bread, cake, etc. If it’s sweet and raw, I want to eat it. I’ve been known to actually forgo eating for the entire day just so I can sit down and eat as much cookie dough as I please after the kids go to sleep (I mean I’ve got some scruples; I would never want my children to see my indulge in such wantonness).

I used to have a relatively clean conscience about this little indulgence until I took a Health and Food Safety Class from a matronly little English lady. At first glance, she seemed harmless with her floral blouse and timid demeanor. But I soon realized it was all a ruse. Before long, she disclosed that she trusted no hands but her own to prepare her food and she detested visiting her niece because she felt her niece’s handwashing practices were below par.

Then she told the story of a mother who, while baking a birthday cake for her son, carelessly tasted the batter, only to die days later from salmonella poisoning. That one floored me. First of all, I felt so guilty that I, who have consumed raw eggs by the hundreds in my years of batter addiction, was still alive and kicking. I felt I had dodged a serious bullet there. But then my mind began wondering whether it was time to hang up my spatula and stick to eating things that have been baked thoroughly. I’ll be honest, that story threw me off my game for a while.

Thankfully, that was 8 years ago and I’m happy to say I’m back to my old ways again, but it’s all far less innocent this time around; that story continues to linger in the back of my mind. But on a happier note, I’ve found a new batter that I’m thoroughly enjoying at the moment, and while that fact alone would never warrant a recipe making it to my blog, the fact that I curbed my eating of this batter because I wanted to save myself for the baked version instead, well, that’s saying something. And it’s a great way to use all those beautiful blueberries that are floating around the markets these days. Enjoy!

Blueberry-Coconut Muffins courtesy of Miss Paula Deen

½ c. butter, softened
¾ c. sugar
2 tsp. lemon zest
2 large eggs
5 tablespoons heavy whipping cream
1 c. flour
½ c. sweetened flaked coconut
½ c. fresh blueberries

Heat your oven to 350 degrees and grease the insides of 6 jumbo muffin cups (I use jumbo here because I feel better about myself if I’ve only eaten one muffin instead of two or three; it’s just a mind game I play with myself so feel free to use 9 or 12 regular size muffin cups and shorten the cooking time).

In a medium bowl, beat butter and sugar till smooth. Add eggs one at a time. Add cream. Beat in flour just enough to combine everything. Then turn off the mixer, grab the spatula that you will be licking like a dog in about 10 minutes time, and stir in the coconut. Fold in the blueberries. Fill muffin cups, pop in the oven to bake for 20 minutes, and then stand over your sink scavenging for every last trace of batter out of the bowl. I have heard of people sticking their entire heads inside a mixing bowl and using their tongues to lick it clean, but I would never partake in or condone that sort of behavior. Never. I mean it.

Now perhaps you have glanced over this recipe a couple of times and noticed that there is no leavening agent listed in the ingredients. It is not a typo. I had the same thought the first time I made these. Have no fear, they will come out completely muffin-esque with the signature golden brown dome. I don’t know why, but I don’t need to when they taste this good.

Wild Card Wednesday: A Cure for The Grandparent Hangover

Have you ever heard of the Grandparent Hangover? Probably not because I just made it up.

The Grandparent Hangover is the condition I find children in after spending over 2 weeks at their grandparents’ house eating and doing anything their sweet little hearts desire, only to return home to reality and rules and non-sugar cereal. There’s a lot of whining when their requests aren’t met immediately, continual cries of “that’s not fair”, and shaking fits from the sudden lack of dyes, artificial flavoring, and sugar in their diets.

When we visit with my parents, I make a commitment to pause my label-reading tendencies and allow my mom and dad to spoil my children as they please. I feel they’ve earned the right since they brought me into the world, fed and clothed me for 18 years, and then paid thousands of dollars for my college education. This is the very least that I can do in return. So I turn a blind eye as my children consume a vast array of unhealthy foods, from potted meats to Krispie Kreme Doughnuts because I know I have an ace in the hole when we get home and detox begins: Oatmeal Pancakes.

Just the thought of these pancakes makes me feel good, and their tastiness has an amazing ability to ease the effects of The Grandparent Hangover because the kids don’t notice that they’ve gone from eating Meme and Pawpaw’s food to eating mine. Better yet, they’re easy and healthy enough to add to your normal breakfast rotation. Best of all, they’ll keep you “regular”, if you know what I mean.

Alright, on that note, let’s get to the recipe. But first a quick note about pancake syrup. Our family made the transition from pancake syrup to pure Maple syrup about a year ago and I haven’t looked back since. I know it’s more expensive, but if you read the label on pancake syrup, it’s disturbing, and besides, maple syrup just tastes better and real. Disagree with me if you like, but I’ll stick to my guns on this one.

Okay, now the recipe:

Oatmeal Pancake

2 eggs, beaten
2 cups buttermilk (If you don’t have buttermilk, relax; there are alternatives. Just pour about a tablespoon of vinegar in the bottom of your measuring jug and then add enough regular milk to reach the 2 cup mark. Let it set for about 5 minutes, and ta-dah, homemade buttermilk.)
1 cup quick-cooking oats (not instant)
1 tbsp. vegetable oil
1 tbsp. molasses or honey
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
Maple Syrup and/or butter

In a large bowl, mix eggs and buttermilk. Add oatmeal, oil, and molasses/honey, and mix. Add flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt, and mix till combined. I cook these on my trusty little countertop griddle, and they come out beautifully golden brown every time, and the aroma is simply sensational. Go ahead and up the healthy rating of these by throwing some fresh fruit on top. Good-bye Grandparent Hangover…for now.